I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
