oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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