her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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