I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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