She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
