You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
