i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
