Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
