do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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