I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
