I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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