If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
