I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
you made out with another girl for some wings
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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