mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize