pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year