it wasn't lemon gatorade
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Randomize
