im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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