i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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