you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
