you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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