I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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