but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
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I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
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Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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