apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
