Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
he thought i was a dude.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
