did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I think a kid would responsible me up
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
