good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
