i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
