Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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