It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
so let's talk penis.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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