I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
