hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
