I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize