so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize