it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
