remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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