i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
