nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
