she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize