Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
