Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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