I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Randomize