we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize