i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
