well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
