chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I believe in your delicious
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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