We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
