oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
