i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
