I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Randomize