how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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