summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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