cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
