so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
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