DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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