matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You made out with two different species that night
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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