I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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