My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
