You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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